Trans
07-19-2008, 06:06 AM
I'm a transgender. For those who don't know what that is; I'm a woman trapped in a man's body. Anyway, that's not what this is about. Here's the thing..
A couple of weeks ago I met a wonderful Turkish man named Erhan. We were supposed to meet for only a sexdate but as soon as we met each other face to face we totally hit it off. We were very much attracted to each other right from the start and once we started talking we both knew that there was something special going on between us. It was all so unexpectedly perfect. I just loved everything about him and I loved how he made me feel. We spent a couple of great weekends together and the sex (or should I say love making) was simply amazing... I usually have safe sex but with Erhan I didn't. We didn't discuss it, it just happened. Last weekend Erhan was at my place and we spent the night together again. We had dinner, we talked, we drank, we laughed, we danced and we had awesome sex all through the night. We were having so much fun that we didn't go to sleep before 10 o'clock in the morning. We only slept for a couple of hours because Erhan had to work on saturday afternoon. When we woke up I made us coffee and a little while later Erhan left to work. What I did not know when we kissed eachother goodbye that morning was that it would be the last time I would see him..
I had the rest of the day to myself so I cleaned up the mess we made and because Erhan had told me that he wouldn't come that night 'cause he would be getting home from work late I decided to stay home by myself and watch television. I didn't pay attention to my cellphone but when I was about to go to sleep I noticed that Erhan had tried to call me two times that night. It was already late when I noticed that I'd missed his calls so I sent him a text message saying that I was still awake and that he could call me if he wanted to and that I didn't want to wake him in case he was already sleeping.
I waited a bit to see if he would call and about 15 minutes later he did. He asked me where I had been all night, but the tone in his voice sounded strange. He didn't sound like the Erhan with whom I spent the weeks before. All this time we didn't have a single disagreement or arguement or whatsoever but now on the phone he just sounded weird and mad. Then he asked me if I had been dating someone else. I told him that I hadn't been dating anyone else, but because I didn't like the tone in his voice I didn't want to have to justify. He then told me that he just came back from a hooker.. All I could say was; 'okay..'. I really didn't know what to say or think because I felt like talking to a complete stranger. He said; 'I had to go to a hooker because I couldn't reach you on your phone'. I said; 'Hmm so you don't want me to date anyone else but you can go to hookers?'. He said; 'That's different, that's with condom. You know I have two kids, and I want to see them grow up. You know how stressed I am, I don't want to have to worry about diseases'. I just didn't know what to say, I was just too overwhelmed. I was also very angry because obviously he was accusing me of sleeping around and having unprotected sex all the time but I didn't want to express my anger. I was also shocked because obviously for him it's normal to only fuck hookers with a condom and everyone who is not a hooker (or not a hooker at that time!?) without a condom. I was thinking to myself; 'why the fuck are we having this discussion. I didn't ASK him to fuck me without a condom!'. We ended the phone call but not before Erhan told me that from then on I should make damned sure to answer my phone whenever he calls.. 'What the fuck' was all I could think. Who is this person? And what gives him the right to talk to me like that after knowing each other for only a couple of weeks.
After we hang up I couldn't stop thinking about it. Eventually I send him a text message saying 'I'd like to talk to you, please call me when you get home'. A couple of minutes later I received an sms from him: 'No. Go and do what you want. Goodbye.'. And that was the last thing I heard from him. I tried to call him once more shortly after I received his message but he didn't answer his phone. This was a week ago and in the mean time I found out that he also removed me from his msn contact list.
I really don't understand what I did to him. I'm sad, of course, but I will be fine. I've been hurt before so I know how to deal with the pain. It just makes me mad that he treated me like trash without any explanation whatsoever, leaving me in the dark. Erhan and I are both the same age, 35yr, but the way this ended doesn't seem to be very mature. I keep thinking that maybe I misunderstood something, and that maybe it's a cultural thing that I just don't get. I know he's not Arab, he's Turkish, but perhaps the male (macho) cultures are somewhat similair? Is there anyone here who has a possible explanation for Erhan's behaviour? I'm caucasian myself by the way.
I mentioned that he has two kids, but he doesn't have a wife. He's devorced and single (as far as I know..).
I don't think I will ever hear from him again and I don't think there's any point in calling him but if he'll ever contact me again I won't speak to him before he apologises to me and explains to me what was going on in his mind.. Does that seem fair?
I'm hoping on some responses guys. Let me know what you think. Thanks.
A couple of weeks ago I met a wonderful Turkish man named Erhan. We were supposed to meet for only a sexdate but as soon as we met each other face to face we totally hit it off. We were very much attracted to each other right from the start and once we started talking we both knew that there was something special going on between us. It was all so unexpectedly perfect. I just loved everything about him and I loved how he made me feel. We spent a couple of great weekends together and the sex (or should I say love making) was simply amazing... I usually have safe sex but with Erhan I didn't. We didn't discuss it, it just happened. Last weekend Erhan was at my place and we spent the night together again. We had dinner, we talked, we drank, we laughed, we danced and we had awesome sex all through the night. We were having so much fun that we didn't go to sleep before 10 o'clock in the morning. We only slept for a couple of hours because Erhan had to work on saturday afternoon. When we woke up I made us coffee and a little while later Erhan left to work. What I did not know when we kissed eachother goodbye that morning was that it would be the last time I would see him..
I had the rest of the day to myself so I cleaned up the mess we made and because Erhan had told me that he wouldn't come that night 'cause he would be getting home from work late I decided to stay home by myself and watch television. I didn't pay attention to my cellphone but when I was about to go to sleep I noticed that Erhan had tried to call me two times that night. It was already late when I noticed that I'd missed his calls so I sent him a text message saying that I was still awake and that he could call me if he wanted to and that I didn't want to wake him in case he was already sleeping.
I waited a bit to see if he would call and about 15 minutes later he did. He asked me where I had been all night, but the tone in his voice sounded strange. He didn't sound like the Erhan with whom I spent the weeks before. All this time we didn't have a single disagreement or arguement or whatsoever but now on the phone he just sounded weird and mad. Then he asked me if I had been dating someone else. I told him that I hadn't been dating anyone else, but because I didn't like the tone in his voice I didn't want to have to justify. He then told me that he just came back from a hooker.. All I could say was; 'okay..'. I really didn't know what to say or think because I felt like talking to a complete stranger. He said; 'I had to go to a hooker because I couldn't reach you on your phone'. I said; 'Hmm so you don't want me to date anyone else but you can go to hookers?'. He said; 'That's different, that's with condom. You know I have two kids, and I want to see them grow up. You know how stressed I am, I don't want to have to worry about diseases'. I just didn't know what to say, I was just too overwhelmed. I was also very angry because obviously he was accusing me of sleeping around and having unprotected sex all the time but I didn't want to express my anger. I was also shocked because obviously for him it's normal to only fuck hookers with a condom and everyone who is not a hooker (or not a hooker at that time!?) without a condom. I was thinking to myself; 'why the fuck are we having this discussion. I didn't ASK him to fuck me without a condom!'. We ended the phone call but not before Erhan told me that from then on I should make damned sure to answer my phone whenever he calls.. 'What the fuck' was all I could think. Who is this person? And what gives him the right to talk to me like that after knowing each other for only a couple of weeks.
After we hang up I couldn't stop thinking about it. Eventually I send him a text message saying 'I'd like to talk to you, please call me when you get home'. A couple of minutes later I received an sms from him: 'No. Go and do what you want. Goodbye.'. And that was the last thing I heard from him. I tried to call him once more shortly after I received his message but he didn't answer his phone. This was a week ago and in the mean time I found out that he also removed me from his msn contact list.
I really don't understand what I did to him. I'm sad, of course, but I will be fine. I've been hurt before so I know how to deal with the pain. It just makes me mad that he treated me like trash without any explanation whatsoever, leaving me in the dark. Erhan and I are both the same age, 35yr, but the way this ended doesn't seem to be very mature. I keep thinking that maybe I misunderstood something, and that maybe it's a cultural thing that I just don't get. I know he's not Arab, he's Turkish, but perhaps the male (macho) cultures are somewhat similair? Is there anyone here who has a possible explanation for Erhan's behaviour? I'm caucasian myself by the way.
I mentioned that he has two kids, but he doesn't have a wife. He's devorced and single (as far as I know..).
I don't think I will ever hear from him again and I don't think there's any point in calling him but if he'll ever contact me again I won't speak to him before he apologises to me and explains to me what was going on in his mind.. Does that seem fair?
I'm hoping on some responses guys. Let me know what you think. Thanks.