How did you come out of the closet? How Should I If my parents are muslims(I'm not)?

[soy_yo]

share your experience and tell what happened to your family relationship?

[zeiss]

I said it to my mother by e-mail, 6 years ago.

[fearful]

i came out to my brother and my sister and my sister supports me my brother stell think one day i become normal

[fearful]

i forget im not muslim but if i told my family they well kill me

[geisha]

I've not told any of my family members that I'm gay yet, but then I'm still very close to my mother so I don't think she'll be angry with me for long even if I do declare to them one day.

As at now, only some of my closer friends know that I'm gay and I do appreciate these people around me.
If one day I do get myself a serious boyfriend, I'll definitely tell them about it.


Geisha

[cranberry]

thank you so much for your cooperations

[ButtyBoy]

One way or another it just became obvious to my family that I was/am gay. It was difficult in the beginning but after a couple of years once they got used to the idea and once they found out that others (neighbours for example...) didn't really have a problem with it, it all just became normal. They now realise that being gay isn't really any different from being straight. We are all human and we more or less all face the same problems in life (excluding the being-gay-problems for straight people of course).

[xq28]

i've declare my go-gay to my sort of friends only. i don't know if my parents realize this or not, but i'm nor ready to tell them yet.

[meghji]

the family may accept one being gay but its muslim society that will not allow it. It is seen as a great disgrace to the family

[cuteto]

mmm i dont know wat to say

[hotbot]

I am neither Muslim nor Arab, but one of my good friends is an Iraqi lady. According to what she says, it is better to not tell your family at all if they are very conservative. I don't know how close you are to your family and howe open-minded they are, but do be careful.

[Ramzi1000]

I think in the end sexuality it is a private matter. Don't ask don't tell :rolleyes:

[indoownl2008]

I think in the end sexuality it is a private matter. Don't ask don't tell :rolleyes:

my thoughts exactly :D

[Polarcoffee]

I live with my parents, my two bros and one sis...none of them knows im gay in my family, or at least i've never told them. my reason of still living with them is a bit sneaky...that is i dont need to pay rent and plus i cant afford my own house or condo...but once i have saved enough, i'll get my own property and move out without saying a word...i dont mind they find out my identity, but i dont think i'd tell them anyway...it's not b/c i feel threatened if i came out...but b/c they dont necessarily need to know...

[Eros101]

I feel a similar way to Polarcoffee, if they don't need to know right now then why shake things up? My boyfriends family are muslim and he is pretty much shunned now that they know and they aren't even that conservative really..

[darren]

I cant agree more, sexuality is private so why let the whole world know. Enjoy yourself but dont put yourself in the pigeon hole.

[ArmenianGuy]

I'm neither Muslim (i'm atheist) or Arab, but i decided to let my family know i wasn't christian first, and i think i'll let them wait a few years before i tell them i'm Gay. I have a Muslim Pakistani friend though, who told his mother first, and she helped him tell his father. Anyways there were a bunch of famous arabs in history who had homosexual relations, you could always bring that up.

[Murat]

I have with me at the moment five gay friends. So with their consent this is what happened.when they told their families I give their nationalities not their names.

1.Spannish. Brothers intially threatened to kill him, fasther disowned him, mother remained close. Three years later it goes home with his gay lover and has lunch with the family. they live in a small village in southern spain.

2. Irish catholic. They still think one day he will get married, they never talk about it.

3. Greek no difference at all, they did not approve of his previous boyfriend this they much prefer his present boyfriend

4. Iraqi. He really beleived that his familly would kill him, half of them know, they other half do not. They don't like it but they accept it and he is still alive!!!!!!

5. Malaysia. they know but thye do not talk about it

Me. My sister was relieved i wasn't living alone at home alone with only a dog for company!


What is my point. The response it not always what you expect, even if you are Muslims but the difficulty is that you wont know till you do. What I can say for certain is that people who truly love you will, even if it takes a few years, in the end accept your sexuality. If a friend no longer accepts you becuase he now knows thay you are gay well he never really was a friend in the first place. If you live is say, Saudi Arabia, the risk if you come out will come not from your family but from outsiders and you really should be careful There are countries where it is safer to stay in the closet and keep your sexuality hidden from those you love. I hate having to say that becasue it took me ten years to come out and i only did it when I met a guy i fell in love with. It was a very very hard time, but we lived throuh it. So in the end nobody can really tell you what is right for you. The only thing i can say is that none of us who have come out regretted it, even though we lost a few friends and family by so doing. But remember we live in what are discribed as tolerant socieites. you may not Hope this helps

[pressj85]

I could never tell my parents, I'm not muslim, but they will peel over

[toksoh99]

for me i i prefer just shut my mouth..if they now i like this..i be ghost now.....

[Ziggy]

i forget im not muslim but if i told my family they well kill me

Wow, sorry about your situation, that makes mine feel even more ridiculous.

I only grew up with my mother (she is Jordanian but brought up in the UK), I haven't told her of my emotional and sexual attraction to men but she knows - she always tells me "I hope you find the right girl for you... or man".

She loves gay men though and I grew up around them so she doesn't care, but I can't bring myself to actually vocalising it.. dunno why. My friends are also very supportive. I could never tell my father though, he is very religious, but his wife is aware of my sexual preferences.

So when I read things such as fearful's post I can't help but feel so utterly ungrateful. I hope good fortune finds you, fearful :)

[Murat]

nobody, I repeat NOBODY, can tell you whether it is right for you to come out to your family, or anyone else. It is a decision only you can make. You will make it when you feel strong enough to make it. How can I, living in London, say to a young man living, in for example Tangiers, that the time is right. What I can say is that after 15 years I finally, got the courage and came out. I lost a few friends, some I had known for 20 years. Do I regret it, absolutely not, For the first time in my life I felt truly free. I was me, not someone pretending to be something else, Howwever low you feel, however isolated you feel do not despair. Your family wil not kill you. It may take some in your family many years, even a decade or more to finally accept you for what you are, some may never accept you. That is not the point. I came to realise that the only way to be truly happy is to beleive in myself and what I am. Whatever we do in this life we pay a price. Each of us must decide whether it is a price worth paying. For me it was. My partner from Iraq, took much longer. He kept insisting that his brother would kill him if he ever found out he was gay. When he came out they did not like it but they accepted it. The reason,? because they loved himI Their love was not conditional on his sexuality Those that truly love you will accept you. Their initial anger is precisely becasue they do love you. It comes from a realisationn that they did not actually know someone whom they thought they knew very well. They simply need time to come to terms with what they have learnt. Please do not assume thay when you come out it will be a disaster. It will not. I very much hope that when you decide to come out, once the initial pain has gone, you will feel the same about your decision. as I did when I made mine. What you need is friends, who know you are gay, it does not matter whether they are gay themselves, to support you and help you. This should be what this community is here for. I wish you well.

[leo1234]

I think everyone should come out if it's safe to do so. From my personal experience, looking back 5 years ago before I came out to my family, I was always depressed, lonely and extremely passive in life. It was hard at first, for everyone in my family including myself, but keeping it a secret doesn't change who you are. I couldn't disagree more with some of the people who were saying sexuality is a private matter so keep it to yourself. For me it was very important that my family knew about the person I love and chose to live my life with. That's what family is for. There's nothing to be ashamed for.
If you think it is safe and secure to come out, you should at least tell the people that are close to you. It's very important to have a friend who you can be your true self with.