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View Full Version : What makes a Muslim gay-one woman’s prospective


Noah
08-20-2011, 06:00 AM
I am actually a straight Muslim woman who lives outside the Middle East but a question that has always fascinated me was what makes someone gay. Why would anyone go against humanities’ only chance of sustaining life on earth through reproduction and re-population? So here is one women’s prospective of the different types of gay. My ideas are a work in progress and your opinion is greatly appreciated:

1) The first type of gay would be those with hormonal imbalances. I am only familiar with gay men for this group so I will only focus on them here. They are the feminine types, the hairdressers, the fashion gurus and a girl’s best friend. These men are likely affected by a hormonal imbalance and the reason I believe that is because they are most prevalent in Asian ethnicities that generally have less testosterone then their non-Asian men counterparts (less hairy, smaller build, softer skin e.t.c). Lower testosterone higher estrogen and you’ve got yourself a female with an overgrown clitoris labeled as a feminine male.

2) The next group is the lifestyle choice group. This group is probably more prevalent in western societies where you are accepted whatever your sexual orientation. This is more likely to affect women than men because it is a generally known fact that women are lot more flexible with their sexuality than men. I guess this is why it is less likely to find lesbians in the Middle East than gay men—because women are more likely to conform to the pressures of society. Women who are generally attracted to men might decide to have a homosexual relationship because it is a lot more convenient. They are less likely to get hurt emotionally or physically by another female, another woman would less likely be aggressive or controlling and can be a lot more understanding. I know if I wasn’t Muslim I would certainly explore this possibility but as a Muslim I never really had to think about it. This can also affect people living in Muslim countries where men and women are usually separated and therefore mainly interact and get along a lot more, with the same sex than the opposite sex.

3) So this brings me to the final group, the most elusive of all and the one that I feel exists but hidden. Again I don’t know enough about women for this group so will focus mainly on men. This group is what I like to call the MSM (men who have sex with other men) group. MSM is a term coined by scientists to categorize those men who don’t identify themselves as gay for one reason or another but have sex with other men. The term was created to identify those men who are at risk of HIV due to having unprotected sex with other men. For this group I have more questions than answers. Why risk it all? Why would a Muslim man risk being caught in a Muslim country and face harsh penalties including torture, being disowned, deported and even death. Why would a Saudi prince or the brother of the leader of the UAE risk a homosexual scandal and the dishonor that follows? Why would a good Muslim who loves God risk his anger and eternal damnation? Does this group even exist or is it just a combination of the other two groups? Is it physiological? Psychological? Genetics? A Combination? Or something completely different all together?

These are just confused thoughts that have been floating in my head for years, twisting, turning and modifying. I have decided to pour them out through this outlet and let them transform into a life of their own. I would love to hear your thoughts and get your input on this topic that I have titled what makes a Muslim gay.

sweet_shane
08-20-2011, 10:12 PM
Well, these are good points that you have raised. I am no expert, but what I can say is simply that the resaon that Muslim and other men have sex with other men is that it feels so good. In Muslim countries, when men dont have access to women, it is an obvious choice to have sexual encounters with their friends. In places like Egypt men are lined up and ready to meet male tourists. Men need sex very intensely. They are expected to grow out of this behavior in their twenties, and settle down with a wife, but they dont always do that. Also, sex with friends is just another way of amle bonding, that hurts nobody. It has been going on since the beginning of time and will never change. I consider myself a straight Muslim male, but i greatly enjoy having oral, and sometimes anal sex with my close friends. It feels nice, and i dont see anything wrong with it. women should not feel threatened or jeaolus. dont worry, we wont lose interest in you! and it is known that Arab men are more sexual than Caucasian men. We are just having fun, no worries..

Noah
08-20-2011, 11:41 PM
Thanks sweet_shane for your thoughts. What you have just shared is very interesting because it gives insight into the general male psyche (which for a straight female is very thrilling!). So really what you are saying is that any man can become "gay" (i really don't like that word--its very restrictive) depending on their early experiences in life. How very intriguing!

Actually on that note I personally don't believe in the labels gay, straight or bi. Have you ever heard of the Kinsey scale? It is a 0 to 6 scale that rates how homo or hetero someone is and I think most people range around the middle (I sometimes rate myself as an X but we wont go there :biggrin:). Anyway, I believe that most people are actually very flexible with their sexuality but it is society and experiences that shape it up as they grow.

jardonm
08-21-2011, 01:21 AM
[AT]Noah.
What you are saying is:
1) It is a disease ("hormonal imbalance" is just a fancy way of saying disease)
2) People choose to be gay (science has already proven this wrong)
3) Some people just choose to have gay sex, but are not gay....

So to be short, I resent your theories so far.

I believe that genetics are equipping us with a certain score on the Kinsey scale. I am pretty sure people dont choose to be gay. They do choose how to deal with it. (based on the culture they live in).

Why genetics would do that (because it works against procreation)? I believe it is a control mechanism to prevent over population. Research always comes with the same percentage of people being gay.

So, in short, all your 3 categories have the same cause: genetics. The way they display their gayness is depending on their environment.

Noah
08-21-2011, 02:19 AM
Thanks for your input [AT]jardonm. I am always happy to hear different points of views. I see that you are from from the netherlands which is at the extreme end of gay rights so I understand why you are getting defensive about this.

I just copied the definition of disease from wikipedia:"In humans, "disease" is often used more broadly to refer to any condition that causes pain, dysfunction, distress, social problems, and/or death to the person afflicted, or similar problems for those in contact with the person." So by that definition I suppose the first category can be considered a disease if you regard lower testosterone levels as a "dysfunction" that causes "social problems". I personally wouldn't call it that because it is mean.

I also believe a person can choose to be "gay". It is more or less the definition of bisexual isn't it?


Your theory of genetics/mechanism of controlling over population is fascinating and the first I have heard of it so thanks for sharing. Actually this would further support that being gay is not a dysfunction and therefore not a disease :smile:

And lastly I don't believe that genetics is the answer to all our problems. It is simply a tool that can be modified by the environment we live in. For example hypothetically speaking, I am genetically predisposed to getting diabetes. This doesn't mean I am going to get diabetes it just means that if I eat unhealthy food then I am at a greater risk of getting it. Conversely I don't have to have the diabetes gene to get diabetes. So in my opinion being gay refers to a result of many things of which genetics can be one of but not limited to it. That is nongenetic alternative explanations cannot be ruled out. Having said that how do you know that the percentage of gay people is always the same? Because I agree that if this is true then it would suggest a strong genetic link to being gay. Interesting stuff!!!

jaja
08-29-2011, 12:17 AM
I am actually a straight Muslim woman who lives outside the Middle East but a question that has always fascinated me was what makes someone gay. Why would anyone go against humanities’ only chance of sustaining life on earth through reproduction and re-population? So here is one women’s prospective of the different types of gay. My ideas are a work in progress and your opinion is greatly appreciated:

1) The first type of gay would be those with hormonal imbalances. I am only familiar with gay men for this group so I will only focus on them here. They are the feminine types, the hairdressers, the fashion gurus and a girl’s best friend. These men are likely affected by a hormonal imbalance and the reason I believe that is because they are most prevalent in Asian ethnicities that generally have less testosterone then their non-Asian men counterparts (less hairy, smaller build, softer skin e.t.c). Lower testosterone higher estrogen and you’ve got yourself a female with an overgrown clitoris labeled as a feminine male.

2) The next group is the lifestyle choice group. This group is probably more prevalent in western societies where you are accepted whatever your sexual orientation. This is more likely to affect women than men because it is a generally known fact that women are lot more flexible with their sexuality than men. I guess this is why it is less likely to find lesbians in the Middle East than gay men—because women are more likely to conform to the pressures of society. Women who are generally attracted to men might decide to have a homosexual relationship because it is a lot more convenient. They are less likely to get hurt emotionally or physically by another female, another woman would less likely be aggressive or controlling and can be a lot more understanding. I know if I wasn’t Muslim I would certainly explore this possibility but as a Muslim I never really had to think about it. This can also affect people living in Muslim countries where men and women are usually separated and therefore mainly interact and get along a lot more, with the same sex than the opposite sex.

3) So this brings me to the final group, the most elusive of all and the one that I feel exists but hidden. Again I don’t know enough about women for this group so will focus mainly on men. This group is what I like to call the MSM (men who have sex with other men) group. MSM is a term coined by scientists to categorize those men who don’t identify themselves as gay for one reason or another but have sex with other men. The term was created to identify those men who are at risk of HIV due to having unprotected sex with other men. For this group I have more questions than answers. Why risk it all? Why would a Muslim man risk being caught in a Muslim country and face harsh penalties including torture, being disowned, deported and even death. Why would a Saudi prince or the brother of the leader of the UAE risk a homosexual scandal and the dishonor that follows? Why would a good Muslim who loves God risk his anger and eternal damnation? Does this group even exist or is it just a combination of the other two groups? Is it physiological? Psychological? Genetics? A Combination? Or something completely different all together?

These are just confused thoughts that have been floating in my head for years, twisting, turning and modifying. I have decided to pour them out through this outlet and let them transform into a life of their own. I would love to hear your thoughts and get your input on this topic that I have titled what makes a Muslim gay.

I have to say that I don't agree with any of these points :frown:

Noah
08-29-2011, 07:37 AM
I have to say that I don't agree with any of these points :frown:

How come?

Also just out of personal interest when and how did you find out you were gay? I am asking because I am curious that is all